Crash Landings
by clonecept
Summary: AU-ish. Sarah, Alison, and Cosima find themselves on a plane.


"Shite."

Sarah grunted as she clambered into the tiny enclosure, hooking her arms under the man's shoulders and hauled him out.

"_Seriously_, Sarah?"

"Just bloody help me pull him out, Cos," Sarah snapped, rolling her eyes.

Cosima sighed exasperatedly and obliged. "Did you seriously have to knock out the pilot?" she hisses as they unceremoniously dumped the unconscious body by door.

"I figured he had a gun."

"Whatever," Cosima muttered, rolling her eyes as Sarah climbed into the cockpit.

"What the dickens is going on up here?"

"Uhh…"

"Is that the pilot?"

Cosima nodded mutely.

Alison leaned into the cockpit, glaring at Sarah. "Do you even know how to fly this thing?"

"Maybe." _No._

"Well, who's going to fly the plane?!"

Sarah rolled her eyes as she tried to make sense of the controls. "Well it sure ain't gonna be these DYAD people," she retorted.

"Oh, dear god. We're going to die." Alison pulled away. "Isn't there a manual somewhere or something?"

Cosima shrugged as she struggled to stuff the pilot into the bathroom.

"Cos, get in here, I can't figure out how to override the auto pilot."

"Go go go, I'll take care of it," Alison waved her hands as Cosima sighed and climbed into the cockpit.

Sarah pulled herself out of the captain's seat and dropped into the co-pilot's seat while Cosima settled in. Cosima pulled out the keyboard and peered up at the screen.

"Shit, dude, this is crazy."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Sarah muttered as she turned around in her seat, fishing out the manual from its place wedged in behind the chair.

Cosima tapped away furiously at the keyboard for a few moments. "What'd you find?"

"Landing procedures," Sarah murmured, engrossed in the binder just as the radio crackled in.

_Killjoy 4, what's your status?_

Sarah glanced at Cosima who paused, her fingers poised over the keyboard, her eyes wide.

"Shit, man. _Killjoy? Seriously?_"

Sarah jammed on a headset.

"Uh," she cleared her throat, lowering her pitch, "all clear. Proceeding to checkpoint."

_Roger. Change to heading zero niner seven, decrease altitude to three three zero._

"Copy uh," Sarah glanced at Cosima nervously. _What do I say?_

"Just repeat it back to them," Cosima hissed, barely glancing up from her screen.

"Changing heading to zero niner seven, decreasing altitude to three three zero."

_Roger._

Sarah exhaled a relieved sigh and slumped in her seat, the tension in her shoulders dissipating.

"Okay, got it," Cosima announced triumphantly, pushing the keyboard away and grabbing a headset. She gripped the throttle in both hands and steered the plane into a slow dive down. She straightened their heading with ill disguised ease.

"What the hell, Cos?"

Cosima grinned smugly at the look of surprise on Sarah's face. "Space camp finally came in handy."

"Right." Sarah glared at her, _You could have said something before_. "I'm gonna go check on Alison."

"Roger that."

* * *

"So where were they taking us?" Alison squinted down the sightline of her newly-acquired handgun.

Cosima sighed as she peered out of the cockpit, a map strewn over the co-pilot's seat. "Looks like it's a facility in Southern Germany."

"Right, well, wherever." Sarah muttered, pulling the slide of her gun back and stowing it in the holster on her belt. "They've got Kira, and they're not going to get away with that."

Cosima twisted in her seat. "How come I don't get a gun?"

Sarah and Alison turned exasperated looks on her.

"What?"

"You're a bloody poor shot, that's why." Sarah shot back. "You think you can land this thing?"

"Well, try me," Cosima muttered under her breath. She waved her hands in dismissal. "Yeah, yeah. Piece of cake."

The aircraft rumbled loudly as the floor beneath them shook.

"Jesus bloody Christ, Cos!"

"Shit, sorry," Cosima called from the cockpit. "Just hit an air pocket. All good."

"What's that smell?" Alison sniffed as she regained her balance.

Sarah sniffed the air. "What?"

"It smells like…" Alison turned to the cockpit and leaned in. "Are you seriously smoking marijuana while flying a military aircraft?"

Cosima rolled her eyes and pulled her joint out of Alison's grasping reach, flicking the ash off the end. "_You_ wanna try to land this flying whale?"

Sarah sighed in exasperation. "Just get us down on the ground, Cos."

"Yeah well, get in here and buckle up, I need you to do run the checklist with me 'cause we're in for a rough landing."

"Oh, Jesus Murphy."


End file.
